


where's your spirit?

by Infinitefleurs



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - No Eden's Gate Cult, Drabble, Intimacy, M/M, i don't actually know what to tag this as?, played the testy festy missions and i had to, point is they're husbands and seb's wasted as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 01:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinitefleurs/pseuds/Infinitefleurs
Summary: John Seed picks up the pieces of a drunken Deputy during the Testicle Festival.





	where's your spirit?

“Hell yeah! Pass me another shot!”

John bites back a sigh as he watches Sebastian drown himself in drink after drink after  _ drink _ . Damn festival. Never let it he said that he didn't like a party, but this one in particular was too loud and far too rowdy for his tastes. The only reason he was even here was right in front of him, hellbent on giving himself alcohol poisoning. He tries for a smile as he gestures to the empty glasses on the table before them. 

“Now, dear, don't you think you've had enough for one night?”

“Absolutely not,” Sebastian slurs before gently pushing him aside. “Now move over, your handsome face is gonna ruin my aim.” He then brings up a slingshot, lining it up with a pair of balloons in front of him. Before he can let the stone loose, however, John's hand in on his arm. 

“It's late. We should be getting home soon.”

“ _ John.  _ We just got here!” Sebastian exclaims, and he shrugs the other man's arm off long enough for him to take a shot. When the balloons pop, he gives a small wave at the cheering crowd. Then, he returns his attention to his husband. “Where's your Testy Festy spirit?”

“I’m afraid--” John starts, but he's interrupted briefly by Sharky's whooping, “I'm afraid I'm not hungry.” Before he can say anything else, the man in question is giving him a heavy pat on the back, much to his ire. 

“Oh, c'mon Johnny boy!” Comes Sharky's interjection, which, in John's humble opinion, reeks too much of cheap beer, “Don't be a party pooper, man. Ain't nothing more that screams  _ Hope County _ than a bull's testicles.”

John rolls his eyes. “Well, Charlemagne, excuse me for having such a refined palate.”

“Yeah, Sharky,” Sebastian cuts in, a lopsided grin on his face. John should've known better, really, as he's now turning to the rest of the town with the intent to run his mouth. “He wants a taste of mine instead!”

“Alright, that's  _ enough! _ ” John exclaims amidst his burning cheeks and the roaring laughter of the crowd. In one quick swoop, he carries Sebastian by the waist and--with some struggle--hauls him over his shoulder. “We're going home.  _ Now. _ ”

“Wait, wait,  _ wait,  _ one more shot!” Sebastian says before managing to hit one more target. When the crowd cheers again, he bursts out in laughter. “Y’all see that? I'm the best damn sharpshooter in this county!” A pause. “Next to Grace, of course,” he adds, before nodding towards her. 

Grace cracks a smile. “Don't you forget it, Deputy!”

“No, no, you've had too much fun. I'm taking you home before you do something you regret.”

Sebastian only snorts, flushed cheeks only burning brighter as he gives John's back a gentle pat. “Hey, y'all, we're going home! John's takin’ me to town tonight!”

A sigh escapes John this time as he weaves through the crowd, which proved to be easier said than done when he was carrying the equivalent of dead weight over his shoulder. He opens his mouth to speak, gets cut off by Hudson whistling at him. 

“Hey, go easy on him, will ya?!” Hudson hollers between fits of laughter, Pratt rolling his eyes beside her, “We still need him down at the station tomorrow!”

John shoots her a wry smile. “I'll be real gentle, Deputy.”

 

* * *

 

 

The drive back to John's ranch was already proving to be a handful. Apparently with just enough alcohol in him, Sebastian was chattier than he normally was. He had something to say about John's car, his plane, the way he styled his hair… and he had something to say about just about everything that passed his window. When he's presumably run out of things to say, John can't help but feel a little bit relieved. Of course, the silence didn't last long when his bubbly husband is facing him yet again.

“Did you have fun? ‘Cause I had loads of fun.”

Glancing at him for a split second, John offers a slight smile. “Tons, dear.”

“That's good. Thought you wouldn't, to be honest. So I'm glad you came with me anyways.”

The sudden sentiment catches John off guard, but he reaches over with a free hand, placing it over Sebastian's. “I'd go anywhere so long as you're with me, if I'm being honest.”

Sebastian squints at him, as if trying to find any dishonesty in his eyes. When he decides that there's none, he nods before leaning back against his seat. “Good. ‘Cause I still got a whole lotta places to drag you to. Like back home.”

John hums as he eventually pulls over into his driveway. “Plenty of time for that in the holidays.”

Sebastian nods again and before he knows it-- John's opening the car door for him. Squinting again, he steps out. “How’d you get there so fast?” He asks, and if it weren't for John holding onto his arm, his face would've hit the ground by now. 

“Easy there, Deputy.”

Once he's gotten some of his bearings, Sebastian moves to wrap his arms around John, head resting on the man's shoulders. “Could you, uh-- pick me up again? Don't think I can take another step without fallin' over.”

“Almost fell over myself when I did it earlier, but-- I could never say no to you.” John reaches around him and--with plenty of struggling--he hoists Sebastian up, letting the other man wrap his legs around his waist. “This would be easier if you weren’t so tall, you know.”   


“You say that like I had a say in it,” Sebastian mumbles against his shoulder, grip tight. “You know you could just… put me up against the wall, have a little fun.”

John rolls his eyes, the corners of his lips turning up into a slight smile. “Cute, Deputy.” He sets the other man down the couch, only for Sebastian to pull him in, leaving sloppy kisses over his face.

“I mean it,” he mumbles before finally landing a kiss on John’s lips, “but the couch works too. C’mon, undress me already.” Sebastian then gives John a lopsided grin, hands already going for the other man’s vest, but John stops him.

“Another time, dear. When you’re less… inebriated.”

Sebastian pouts, but he nonetheless takes his jacket off, leaning against John. “Can you just take me to bed, then?”

John’s gaze softens, but he can’t help but laugh as he leans back against the couch. “Do I have to? I mean, the bedroom’s all the way upstairs. And we’re already pretty comfy down here.” He watches his husband think about it, then move over to rest his head on John’s lap as he fiddles with his thumbs.

“You have a point… but isn’t this uncomfy? For you, I mean.”

“Not necessarily. I don’t mind.”

A hum. “Alright then.”

John opens his mouth to speak, shuts it when he hears Sebastian snoring away already. He leans back against the couch once more to make himself comfortable, and… his husband was right. This  _ was  _ uncomfortable. Nothing to be done about it now when the other was already sleeping so soundly, and so he decides to just make do.

“You’re a real handful, you know that?” John asks, though it goes unanswered. With a sigh that sounds more like a yawn, he threads his fingers through the Deputy’s hair. “But I love you anyways.”


End file.
